Thanks to @vjack and @AtheistQOTD for the quote.

The Higgs Boson, AKA the God Particle, Explained with Animation

Yeah, that clears it all up for me. Now I understand perfectly. Or not. The animation does help, though. I'm no brain surgeon but I have taken quite a bit of college calculus, chemistry and calculus-based physics. I've read Brian Greene and Feynman. I'm not a complete moron, but still it is a little tough to picture things that make electrons look huge in comparison.