In Her Defense, I'm Sure the Moose Had It Coming

In Her Defense, I'm Sure the Moose Had It Coming 

By screenwriter Aaron Sorkin (A Few Good Men, The West Wing) at the Huffington Post

"Unless you've never worn leather shoes, sat upon a leather chair or eaten meat, save your condemnation."

You're right, Sarah, we'll all just go fuck ourselves now.

The snotty quote was posted by Sarah Palin on (like all the great frontier women who've come before her) her Facebook page to respond to the criticism she knew and hoped would be coming after she hunted, killed and carved up a Caribou during a segment of her truly awful reality show, Sarah Palin's Alaska, broadcast on The-Now-Hilariously-Titled Learning Channel.

I eat meat, chicken and fish, have shoes and furniture made of leather, and PETA is not ever going to put me on the cover of their brochure and for these reasons Palin thinks it's hypocritical of me to find what she did heart-stoppingly disgusting. I don't think it is, and here's why.

Like 95% of the people I know, I don't have a visceral (look it up) problem eating meat or wearing a belt. But like absolutely everybody I know, I don't relish the idea of torturing animals. I don't enjoy the fact that they're dead and I certainly don't want to volunteer to be the one to kill them and if I were picked to be the one to kill them in some kind of Lottery-from-Hell, I wouldn't do a little dance of joy while I was slicing the animal apart.

I'm able to make a distinction between you and me without feeling the least bit hypocritical. I don't watch snuff films and you make them. You weren't killing that animal for food or shelter or even fashion, you were killing it for fun. You enjoy killing animals. I can make the distinction between the two of us but I've tried and tried and for the life of me, I can't make a distinction between what you get paid to do and what Michael Vick went to prison for doing. I'm able to make the distinction with no pangs of hypocrisy even though I get happy every time one of you faux-macho shitheads accidentally shoots another one of you in the face.

So I don't think I will save my condemnation, you phony pioneer girl. (I'm in film and television, Cruella, and there was an insert close-up of your manicure while you were roughing it in God's country. I know exactly how many feet off camera your hair and make-up trailer was.)

And you didn't just do it for fun and you didn't just do it for money. That was the first moose ever murdered for political gain. You knew there'd be a protest from PETA and you knew that would be an opportunity to hate on some people, you witless bully. What a uniter you'd be -- bringing the right together with the far right.

(Let me be the first to say that I abused cocaine and was arrested for it in April 2001. I want to be the first to say it so that when Palin's Army of Arrogant Assholes, bereft of any reasonable rebuttal, write it all over the internet tomorrow they will at best be the second.)

I eat meat, there are leather chairs in my office, Sarah Palin is deranged and The Learning Channel should be ashamed of itself.

The language is a bit harsh, but so is the offense. I'd go even further and say that the comparison to Michael Vick is unfair ... to Michael Vick! Michael Vick served his time and by all accounts is remorseful, humbled and genuinely apologetic. Sarah Palin will never be remorseful, humble or apologetic about anything. And instead of going to jail (or at least back to obscurity), she makes us serve time by having to witness her tired and disingenuous act daily.

"Cruelty and fear shake hands together." -- Honore de Balzac

"One of the ill effects of cruelty is that it makes the bystanders cruel." -- Thomas Fowell Buxton

Palin/Wrestlemania

Sarah Palin & John McCain tag-team match in Mesa and Chandler today ... Wrestlemania in Glendale tomorrow. Coincidence? I think not. They kinda appeal to the same intelligence level. I'm just sayin' ...

The beefy guys escorting this Palin heckler out at the rally fit the part.  Straw hat and everything.

But for the shocking truth of wrestling fans, check out The Onion's expose:


Controversial Tell-All Book Reveals Wrestling Fans Are Fake

Palin Resigns

My favorite reader comments from Huffington Post's article on Sarah Palin's sudden resignation as Governor of Alaska:

• "Don't rule out the possibility that she simply wants to devote more time to exploiting her family."



• "Just when the Sanford story was getting stale. The republicans are the gift that keeps on giving."



• "Ah shucks, what a quality lady there... true blue Republican, back bone of the party - cute, clueless, and fertile. We'll miss her."



• "Is she defecting to Russia?"



• "It's ACORN's fault!"



• "Top 5 Reasons Sarah Palin resigned:
  
  1. She's replacing Michael Jackson on his comback World Tour.
  2. She can do more good as the new host of America's Got Talent.
  3. Last week she contracted Swine Flu on an undisclosed trip to Argentina.
  4. She signed a 5 year contract to be the new point guard for the LA Sparks.
  5. One word....Diprivan."

Palin

I told myself, "You are not going to talk about her. She's just a VP candidate. She's over her skis and doesn't know what she's gotten herself into. She's just a small state governor, an outsider who was put on the ticket to help McCain pick up some disenchanted Clinton supporters. She seems nice enough and her family certainly doesn't deserve the scrutiny it has received."

I might have kept that opinion but then Sarah Palin took on the role of Darth Vader last night in her convention speech and and threw out every right-wing, conservative generalization in the book in order to please the crowd and the "base". Mission accomplished, but in the process, she may have went a long way towards alienating any middle-of-the-road appeal the ticket may have had. The role of a VP is usually to help the presidential candidate appeal to some constituency that he/she may not have had. McCain's candidacy had already moved to the right of Bush/Cheney. All bringing up "God and guns" did was to preach to the converted. And any free pass she may have been given by some Democrats is out the window with her patent lies and attacks and willingness to play the heavy.

Sarah Palin says that Obama will raise taxes on everyone ... a lie. She says Obama wants to forfeit in Iraq ... a lie. She says Obama wants to meet with terrorist states without preconditions ... a lie.

She criticizes community organizers (which Obama was), a conduit for those disenfranchised by a corrupt political system. She does not bring up how McCain will help people with healthcare, their homes, or jobs. She says she was against the "bridge to Nowhere", the brainchild of Ted Stevens, from the get-go while she advocated the project as governor.


Her views on sex education and abortions will lose her allies even within her own party. She proudly talks about her own special-needs child and parades out her teenage pregnant daughter (out-of-wedlock) as a model of evangelical and wholesome living while cutting programs for special-needs children and teenage mothers while governor.

I could go on and on, bring up her views on creationism, her hypocrisy on lobbying and pork-barrel spending, etc.

She could have played it cool, been window-dressing on McCain's ticket, possibly helping him to pick up some moderates who admired her ability to raise a family and run a state. But with last night's speech, she showed her ass and her true colors. I do not feel sorry for any scrutiny she will get from now on. Sarah Palin, welcome to the world of politics. It's on.

Some more thoughts on Palin from some of my blog buddies:

An Angry Celebration of Ignorance and Tyranny at Journal Wunelle

For My Conservative Blog Friends Still Defending Palin at Jewish Atheist

Palin Once Member of Alaska Secessionist Party at Genius of Insanity