My mom's having heart surgery on Tuesday. My parents say it's nothing. I know they don't want us (my brother and I) to worry. And they certainly don't want us to come up to the hospital. Just a simple procedure to put a stent in. Less than 50% blockage in one artery. Only have to stay over night. Doctor says not to worry. The folks say not to worry. Why does everybody keep telling us 'not to worry' if there is nothing to worry about? Is there such a thing as "simple" or "routine" when you are talking about the heart?
Mom's healthy otherwise. She quit smoking a few years ago after having smoked for over 40 years. I never thought she would be able to that. Did it cold turkey.
It's not that we see them a lot ... maybe once a month. Talk to them once a week. We don't rely on them ... they're retired and living in Kingman. But you always knew they were there. Then something happens to make you wonder if they always will be.
It's not just about me being worried about losing my mom. I'm worried what it would do to my dad. My folks have been married for 40 years and are so completely entwined. Some would say they are old-fashioned and they are. Dad has always worked and brought home the money. Mom took care of us kids and ran the house. But they were content in their roles. Dad would have a hard time taking care of himself. I don't think my dad could boil water on his own ... let alone fix a meal.
My dad's not overly emotional ... but he's not cold. He has a good sense of humor. But I've only seen him cry once or twice in my life. I know losing mom would absolutely destroy him.
Mom and I haven't always got along perfectly. We're probably too alike in a lot of ways. We get too emotional about things. We both have a tendency to worry too much about what other people think. But our relationship has been pretty good for the last year. You get a little older and you forgive some of those things that you've always held against your parents. Like you, they're not perfect. Heck, my mom and her twin brother reconciled this year after not having spoken for 20 years. If that wall came down, our problems are nothing in comparison.
I feel guilty for even worrying. Michelle's dad passed away last year, was younger, and had went through a lot more before he passed. A lot of my friends have either lost a parent or are children of a divorce. Maybe I'm just being a baby. I've been spoiled by having healthy parents. You don't want to think about your parents' mortality because you don't want to think about your own.
I know I'm just being silly. But it's too late to think about these things after something happens.