Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Bumper Stickers

A comment by my wife the other day about a bumper sticker we saw got me to thinking: What are people really trying to say with their stickers and magnets? So, as a public service, I am going to translate some of the ones that I have seen recently:


This is the one that my wife brought to my attention. She said, "Oh, isn't that sweet? That lady's husband loves her so much that he has a bumper sticker saying it." Not quite. My translation: "I love my wife ... not my domestic partner, not my lover, not my longtime companion. If you do, then you are going to hell."


To continue on that theme, don't you think this one could have made a good poster for Brokeback Mountain? :-)


People with this one are O.G. Bushies. They're keeping it real and kickin' it old school. They're so hard core that Bush could tell them they had WMD's in the arse, and they would buy it. Actually, I had a college roommate who I could swear had WMD's in his ass ... but I digress.


It says, "Support Our Troops". It means, "I'm too cheap to give money to an organization that will actually help troops and their families ... or better yet bring them home. I'd rather plop this "Made in China" magnet on my gas guzzling SUV and feel superior and 'holier than thou'."


"Bush Youth" ===>>> "Hitler Youth"?


Sorry. What was the question?


Yeah, I think that must be a Ghandi quote.


We can only hope there will be some convictions.


These people have evidently never seen Dr. Strangelove. They'd be the ones hootin' and hollerin' like Slim Pickens riding the bomb. They'll bring marshmallows when the planet is roasting.


This one serves two purposes. First, it's for people that are still in denial that it all happened. Secondly, it makes sure you don't mistake them for a Bushie. BTW, I still have this bumper sticker on my truck.

14 comments:

Aginoth said...

I do like those bumper stickers.

Thanks for the blogroll...I've reciprocated, and will be back

CyberKitten said...

You know it makes sense Mr A.

Laura said...

My friend SecretRudy has a great bumpersticker on his car it says

Bush/Cheney 2004
Eat the Poor

Some people just don't get it.

Personally, I think that any thought that can be boiled down to a bumpersticker is probably profound enough to mean anything. Isn't that sad though, that all our information seems to be boiled down that way? How dumb are we becoming?

dbackdad said...

Thanks Aginoth.

Laura,
That's the problem ... too many people's viewpoints are not nuanced enough (especially here) to warrant anything longer than a bumper sticker. That's about the longest thing they will read. They'll read the right-wing chain mails that their buddies have sent them or they'll watch Hannity and O'Reilly.

Jewish Atheist said...

I think people with bumper stickers are usually saying, "Hey, I want you to think of me a certain way." They couldn't do much convincing although I suppose they could work on the level of a commercial jingle.

Is that Bush Youth one for real?? Scary.

dbackdad said...

JA,
Yeah, these are all real ones that I have seen on cars within the last few weeks. Scary.

Laura said...

Dback:

I bet if you quizzed someone on one of those chain emails, they'd not be able to recite one "fact" it contained. I know the people who send me that shit rarely read the email itself, they just FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:Liberals are Scum...

dbackdad said...

Laura,
Exactly. Like JA said, people with these bumper stickers or people that forward those e-mails already have a set opinion. They're just looking to let you know what it is ... in an annoying and obvious fashion.

Shawn said...

Wow...must be something in the air. I just had similar thoughts about bumper stickers. You captured it exactly...and perhaps more politely than I did.

I worked with a guy who had a "Jesus Loves You But I Don't Know Why" bumper sticker. He got pulled over a lot.

Cheers.

dbackdad said...

Shawn,

Evidently Mr. Highway Trooper didn't love him. :-)

Sadie Lou said...

I have never put a bumper sticker on my car.
Anything I'm that passionate about feels slightly less so when it's reduced to a crappy one liner.
I especially hate Jesus bumper stickers and T-shirts.
There's this church called Twin Cities in my area and their bumper sticker says,
"Got Life?"
~Twin Cities

My sister's friend made a Bumper Sticker in response that says," Got Brainwashed?"

I admit, I thought that was a great response.
The minute we reduce the gospel to a crappy jingle is the very minute people stop listening.

dbackdad said...

Sadie,

Well said. It does a great disservice to any cause or belief to reduce it to a sound bite.

Shawn said...

It didn't help that he looked a bit like a serial killer and drove a ratty van... He was the photographer at the local paper though and had to drive all over three counties.

He got pulled over so many times that he made a bumper sticker based on what the dispatchers would relay back when they ran his plates. Something like '10-76...All clear'. I thought that was pretty darn funny.

Once they started to know who he was, he didn't get hassled too much.

greatwhitebear said...

My "yelow elephant" t shirt and window sticker has gotten me a lot of dirty looks, but so far no tickets or fights!