My mom's having heart surgery on Tuesday. My parents say it's nothing. I know they don't want us (my brother and I) to worry. And they certainly don't want us to come up to the hospital. Just a simple procedure to put a stent in. Less than 50% blockage in one artery. Only have to stay over night. Doctor says not to worry. The folks say not to worry. Why does everybody keep telling us 'not to worry' if there is nothing to worry about? Is there such a thing as "simple" or "routine" when you are talking about the heart?
Mom's healthy otherwise. She quit smoking a few years ago after having smoked for over 40 years. I never thought she would be able to that. Did it cold turkey.
It's not that we see them a lot ... maybe once a month. Talk to them once a week. We don't rely on them ... they're retired and living in Kingman. But you always knew they were there. Then something happens to make you wonder if they always will be.
It's not just about me being worried about losing my mom. I'm worried what it would do to my dad. My folks have been married for 40 years and are so completely entwined. Some would say they are old-fashioned and they are. Dad has always worked and brought home the money. Mom took care of us kids and ran the house. But they were content in their roles. Dad would have a hard time taking care of himself. I don't think my dad could boil water on his own ... let alone fix a meal.
My dad's not overly emotional ... but he's not cold. He has a good sense of humor. But I've only seen him cry once or twice in my life. I know losing mom would absolutely destroy him.
Mom and I haven't always got along perfectly. We're probably too alike in a lot of ways. We get too emotional about things. We both have a tendency to worry too much about what other people think. But our relationship has been pretty good for the last year. You get a little older and you forgive some of those things that you've always held against your parents. Like you, they're not perfect. Heck, my mom and her twin brother reconciled this year after not having spoken for 20 years. If that wall came down, our problems are nothing in comparison.
I feel guilty for even worrying. Michelle's dad passed away last year, was younger, and had went through a lot more before he passed. A lot of my friends have either lost a parent or are children of a divorce. Maybe I'm just being a baby. I've been spoiled by having healthy parents. You don't want to think about your parents' mortality because you don't want to think about your own.
I know I'm just being silly. But it's too late to think about these things after something happens.
12 comments:
My thoughts are with you & your family.
You're not being silly at all. You're having completely natural feelings & I'd be more concerned (if I was you) if I wasn't worried.
I'm sure everything will go OK.
Best wishes.
CK,
Thank you very much. I appreciate the sentiment. I'm sure you're right.
My grandfather had a triple bypass. He did remarkably well after the surgery; a full recovery. He never felt better in his life.
I will pray for you and your mother. I'll pray for the surgery to be a success and for your worries and anxiety to be soothed.
The most important thing is to maintain a healthy lifestyle after the surgery. Often times the patient feels so much better--they forget that they need to be mindful of their heart. My grandfather resumed drinking after his surgery.
It was the drinking that took his life 4 years after the proceedure--not the surgery it's self.
:)
Sadie,
Thanks for your prayers. Your and CK's kind words are already helping me.
When my folks found out that my mom had some issues, they immediately changed their diets. Mom actually sounded excited and took it as a challenge to learn to cook in a new way. And it will help Dad too.
Your parents sound like my parents.
My dad has abandoned soft drinks altogether. He has a wicked sweet tooth and he's always searching for alternatives to candybars.
They do not eat red meat anymore (it's been 2 years!).
My mom cooks a lot of organic foods and they eat tons of salads.
I'm glad your parents are adjusting their diets.
Perhaps we should all start doing this sooner rather than later?
I'm inspired!
My folks don't have a huge sweet tooth but they are definitely midwestern meat and potatoes, have a beer after work types.
Sadie said, " ... Perhaps we should all start doing this sooner rather than later?" -- he-he. Maybe our parents can still teach us something.
I'm in there hoping for a good outcome for your Mom. Have confidence in medical science.
And you are perfectly normal to worry. In our family, that is our middle name.
We worry when we go to baseball games.
You'll be in my thoughts.
Thanks Isabella.
I don't know what I'd do if one of my parents died. I hope everything is OK. Hang in there.
I hope all goes well.
Laura and James - it'll be OK. Thanks for the kind words.
By now the surgery is over, and hopefully all is well. I know my kids worried like hell abut mine, even though it was done on Friday and I was back to work on Monday. It is a childs right to worry.
Hopefully by this time tommorrow, you'll have posted good news.!
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